I love to curse. I love to fucking curse.
Maybe that means I’m uncouth. Maybe that means I’m not as intelligent as one who denies herself the pleasure of a spontaneous expletive every now and again. Or maybe I just really hated grown-ups telling me to be more ladylike—to cross my legs, to lower my voice, to stop singing at the table, to follow the rules, and to be a good little girl.
You know, now that I think about it, I’ve always been a touch contrary, and this song appeases my need to let all those bad words out.
“You say I’m a bitch. Think you’ll flip my switch? Well I don’t give a shit. I’m fucking hostile!”
I’ve yet to come across a better lyric than this to scream in my car as I’m driving through Austin rush-hour traffic. Or to scream at some random guy who tells me I have nice legs. Whichever.
“Hostile (Ptsd Love Song)” by Feral Future starts out with a heavy guitar riff, full of all the rage you would expect a song like this to possess. The cymbals blare over everything, piercing through, imbibing the song with a controlled chaos that feels like it could snap loose and wild at any moment. There are only a couple of moments where the intensity level is brought down. In those moments, the bass keeps barreling along, letting us know that the rage will return soon enough.
The singer’s vocals are raw, and they only get rawer as the song progresses. There are a few moments where the edge in her voice becomes a tremble. Those are the moments we see true vulnerability. I don’t know anything about the singer or about the other members of this band, but I’m going to take an educated guess that the reference to PTSD isn’t careless. This song vibrates with an anger so keen, so exquisite, that by the end of it, when she howls, “I want to ruin you because you’ve ruined me,” I find myself crying instead of cursing. Rage can do that to you.
If you enjoy screaming along to “Hostile (Ptsd Love Song)” by Feral Future, consider giving “No Means Nothing” and “XO KO” a try.
PS: If you see this post, Mom, sorry for all the unladylike language. Love you!