When you connect with a song, sometimes it’s only a tiny bit of the melody or the lyrics, but it resonates so loudly you can feel it from the tingles in your hair to the soles of your feet. “Museum of Flight” by Damien Jurado is one of those songs.
I turned around, my life was changing
What did I learn, it’s not that easy
I heard this song at a time when things in my life had already started changing without asking for my opinion. They either just up and walked away, or slowly started to float away.
It was time for me to say goodbye to being in a band with two people I love dearly. I didn’t want to do it because I knew that meant losing them, even if only for a bit, but perhaps the worst part was, it also meant losing beloved parts of our friendship. It’s scary when you realize a relationship with a loved one is changing. Even if it’s for the better, change is hard.
Don’t let go
I need you to hang around
I’d gotten to that point in the scary movie where the heroine has to either turn the corner and face the monster, or turn and run and hope for the best. I so badly wanted to turn and hope for the best.
You can always go home,
To the safety of your cloud
I’ve never been good at accepting change. It breaks me down and rips out everything I thought was right, and I’m good at pretending everything is okay. It’s like that line in The Departed when Matt Damon talks about how he’ll stick with anything even when it’s wrong. “I can’t get out…I’ll deal with something being wrong the rest of my life.” I just can’t stop myself. Maybe it’s the Scorpio in me. I will charge forth hoping for the best because it’s the safe thing to do. When I finally accept the new change as a necessity, it replays in my head every day, a constant reminder of this piece of me I’m losing that I thought would be there forever.
These little parts of this song got to me and made me realize I needed to face these changing and dying parts of my life. Just like autumn is about to come and take the leaves from the trees, changes come and take us from ourselves. Some things will go away and come back more beautiful than before, and other things you have to let die.
If you like “Museum of Flight,” also listen to “Working Titles” and “Nothing Is the News” by Damien Jurado.