Like any good wine, I had to allow these words to open up to me. At first, the way I read it aloud almost felt narcissistic.
Me. Myself. I. Alone.
Then, I thought back to one of the conversations within our Comeback Circle. A participant shared that she’s a better mom when she works out. It sounded simple enough. It resonated with all of us. We could even fill in the blank—I’m a better mom, wife, friend, sister, or daughter when I work out, meditate, eat better, take a bath, or just plain take time for myself. The common denominator? Being good to ourselves. But we don’t do it. Or we don’t do it enough.
As women, why do we associate being good to ourselves with being selfish? Yet we know we’re so much better for ourselves and for others when we are. I have a close girlfriend battling Metastatic Stage IV Breast Cancer right now. She’s one of the kindest human beings, always putting others first. She’s lived with years of little aches and pains because she was too busy taking care of other people. I never thought about it. She often made little remarks about her pain in passing. Instead, I’d beg her to come over for a favor. I’ve always needed her help, her expertise for something. In hindsight, it was unimportant.
Now, I’m determined to take a closer look—one that might even defy the boundaries of personal space—to ask my friends if they’re okay. I will applaud them for their superhero behaviors—multitasking, putting others first, working their butt off to provide for their families, being single mamas—but I will follow the applause with a question.
How are you loving yourself?
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